Work Life Balance Is Not 50/50
Striking the balance between work and life is a constant struggle for working mothers and entrepreneurs. According to the Labor of Bureau in 2017, women made up nearly 46.9% of the total workforce. Within some work cultures, to be considered an “ideal worker” you are expected to prioritize work over everything. The boundaries between work and home used to be very clear.
However, today work is likely to invade your personal life and vice versa.
Before I had children it was simple. It was all about work. After I had my daughters I took some time off and went back to school to earn my Masters degree. It was during this time that I realized managing a family, career, and personal life was no easy task.
But you couldn’t tell me then that I was not going to try and give 100% to each area.
After all, I am a high achiever and was used to having high productivity in many areas at the same time. I credited this ability to produce at high levels to my efficient and compartmentalized brain. But I found myself feeling overwhelmed and struggling to find “balance” with work, family, and life. It was only when I was diagnosed with general anxiety that I had to take a step back and realize that trying to have it all at the same time was impossible, exhausting, and more importantly unhealthy.
I found that each day I had to prioritize what was important and what needed my attention.
Sometimes work got more of me and sometimes my life and family needed me more. I surrendered to the present moment. This approach allowed me to bring my best self forward. It wasn’t easy. I felt guilty sometimes that I couldn’t make the school function because I had to work or that I couldn’t arrive at the office promptly at 8:30 am because I had a teacher/parent conference.
I found freedom and became my best self when I gave up seeking balance all the time.
Each person must identify a strategy that works for them and determine their ratio. What feels right to YOU is what works best. There is not one right ratio that fits all lifestyles. What I can tell you is that the ratio will not be 50/50 and that’s ok because life is dynamic and forgiving.
So how do you find your ratio and stop the struggle of seeking the elusive work-life balance?
Below are 10 tips to achieving the work-life ratio that’s best for you:
Master your time - Cut or delegate activities you don't enjoy or can't handle. Organize your household tasks efficiently, such as running errands in batches and ordering groceries online. Do what needs to be done and let the rest go.
Have a support system - At work, join forces with co-workers who can help you out when you have to leave work for a family crisis. Call on your friends and family, or parents of your children’s friends to help you care for your children when you have to work overtime or travel.
Prioritize - Make a weekly brain dump list, then prioritize those items according to what is important to you throughout your week. You won’t accomplish everything on the list and that’s ok. Put family events on a weekly calendar, and keep a daily to-do list at home and at work. Having a plan helps you maintain focus. When you don't have a plan, it's easy to be sucked into the plans and priorities of others.
Just Say No - Whether it's a co-worker asking you to spearhead an extra project or your child's teacher asking you to volunteer for the next field trip, it's OK to say no. Don't accept tasks out of guilt or sense of obligation. Be sure you are saying yes because it’s what you want to do.
Email Management - Set a time that you will dedicate to checking and returning email. Do not allow yourself to become reactive to email throughout the day or you will find that you will not be able to get your tasks done but will be responding to everyone else’s needs.
Have options - Ask your employer about flex hours, a compressed workweek, job sharing, telecommuting or other scheduling flexibility. The more control you have over your hours, the less stressed you're likely to be.
Self Care Routine - A healthy lifestyle is essential to showing up as your best self. A healthy diet and a good night’s sleep enhances the ability to retain knowledge as well as stamina and well-being. Take baths or get a massage. Take time to show yourself the love and care that you show others.
Relax Have Fun - Make time for fun! Pick back up that old hobby that used to bring you so much joy. Set aside time each day for an activity that you enjoy or take the time to learn something new.
Serve Others - Leave time in the schedule to volunteer or help someone in need. Research shows that volunteering can contribute to a greater sense of well being and can lower your stress and feeling of burnout.
Talk it out - Life can be overwhelming and at times everyone needs help. If you find yourself unable to manage the stress, seek a professional such as a counselor or other mental health provider to help you process your thoughts and emotions.
Finding a work-life ratio is not a one-time thing. It is a continuous process, as work and life are constantly changing. But you can learn to show up as your best self by setting limits, taking care of yourself, and allowing yourself grace.